This House Ain't No Home
by bluishlemonade
Summary: After a terrible loss and an unforgivable malpractice, Elijah Mikaelson leaves London and moves to New Orleans in hopes of leaving his worries behind. He ends up finding himself pretty busy helping Klaus and Caroline with their wedding, keeping an eye on his incorrect and rebellious brother Kol and falling for his little distraction Honoria Fell. Kol/OC/Elijah (AU)


**A/N: Well, hello there, my dearest readers! First and last time I mentioned this story I was currently working on my ninth chapter of **_**Crude and Primitive**_**. Ah, a lot has happened since that day. Anyway, to those that have just met me, I'm so glad you found my story and chose to read it. I hope you have lots of fun reading it as much as I had writing it.**

**This is a TVD AU that involves most of the characters in the series (mainly The Original family) and some characters of the books. I may continue it if I receive good feedback, so don't forget to tell me what you thought about it at the end of it, okay? **

**A huge thank you to Vicky **_**(mikaelsondarling/xLadyInBluex)**_** as always not only for the endless promos and praises but for our friendship. I love you so much, sweetie! All of you go and read her story **_**Through Eternity & Bloodlust**_**. She's currently working on the sequel! CAREFUL: the second part is being posted in the very same link!**

* * *

He buried his head in his hands, his hazel hair unruly and unkempt. He had been sat in the waiting room for four hours without any purpose – he wasn't visiting a friend, waiting for someone to outlast, he was just there for he didn't know where else he belonged. He had been wandering the corridors at the pitiful stare of his former colleagues. Tatia, his earlier crush and midwife, would give him some company and squeeze his hand every time she wasn't required while Trevor, the oncologist he had never grown fond of, would politely, better said bitterly, suggest him to leave and take a shower.

Before his redundancy, Elijah was an exemplary paramedic everyone respected and wanted to hang out with. He was serious and wise and friendly and funny, the kind of person desperate familiars resorted to every time they felt down. Nurses and doctors would turn to chat gleefully with him when he was spotted somewhere in the main hallways. After an exhausting recovery, kind patients of all ages would give him chocolate boxes and letters and drawings, even take photos with him. He would talk for hours with Rose, the receptionist in the maternity ward, and sometimes make current sufferers like the elder or victims of Alzheimer smile. That successful part of him had now disappeared, though, and it was partly because of destiny and partly because of his ex.

He slapped his forehead, trying to kick her out of his mind under duress when his mobile phone rang. Elijah took it out of his pocket and lounged on the uncomfortable plastic chair of the neurology ward. Although he sincerely appreciated international calls, talking to his brother Niklaus required an enormous patience he lacked at the moment.

"What's up?"

"_What's up?" _he heard him mocking. _"Is that how you greet your brother after assigning you a marvelous lawyer?"_ Despite the fact that his sibling hadn't left the United States, he had been disproportionally and surprisingly unselfish and consoling about his trial. Thanks to his reputation and power, Elijah's penalty had only consisted on his layoff. It could have been worse beyond a doubt if he hadn't pulled some strings.

"I'm not in the mood, Nik."

"_Guess what, I'm not either. Caroline has just sent me to the couch."_

Elijah gazed at his watch and estimated the current local time in Louisiana when the Big Ben chimed eleven bongs at the other side of the Thames. 5AM! What the hell was Niklaus doing awake at 5AM? "What did you tell her this time?"

"_She's been all grumpy and hateful these days ever since I took a few drinks with Hayley, my new secretary. She just didn't feel like cuddling up a bit next to me, if you know what I mean, and I blamed it on her period. Definitely not a good idea…_

» _Anyway, I was calling you because __we need you back. It's been two months already. Our wedding is close and we'd all like to help you move on. You better be here ASAP."_

"Yeah, sorry. The trial has kept me… distracted. I couldn't get my plane ticket yet."

"_That was to be expected. That's why I did it myself. Thank you for not informing us about the verdict, by the way. _

» _Just check your e-mail and print the attached document. You are leaving tomorrow. Stansted Airport. Takes off at 7:45. Don't you dare losing it! You are turning out to be more expensive than I thought."_

"What?" He complained, frowning and leaning forwards when Niklaus hung up. He sighed heavily. Elijah hated to travel heartbroken. He had just told himself he would wait a few days to take that goddamn flight. But Nik hastened to pay for it first.

He was waiting for the lift to go down the main floor when someone skated all through the slippery tiles and the closing doors. His heart skipped the moment he saw her smoothing her hospital gown and then combing her curly chestnut hair. It took her a while to realize it was him the one she had to share the elevator with.

"Awkward" Katerina scoffed at the situation, pressing the second floor button.

"Nice to see you, too, Katerina."

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd been fired" she replied, her words sounding as harsh, reckless and lethal as lately.

"And I thought you were leaving."

"I am, actually, tomorrow night. This is my last day. A couple of visits to the O.R. and I'll be done for good if nothing else happens. Chief surgeon in Sofia? Couldn't say no, not even for you."

Elijah bowed and showed a disappointed smile, his hand placed in his chest. "Are you trying to punish me for our break up?"

"No, it's okay! No hard feelings! I guess you never loved me as much as I believed" she blurted out with a bitter smile, obviously on purpose.

"I was grieving. Your lack of interest and your absurd frivolous façade provoked it."

"I get it, Elijah" she sighed, pretending to be tired and uninterested by reading the results of a blood test. "You needed someone to hold responsible for your brother's dead and your malpractice and you chose me."

"What I _needed_ was my sweet and lovely girlfriend, not a pseudo-heartless egomaniac that was too busy bossing nurses and other doctors around now that she'd been offered a superior position abroad" Katerina stared at the void at Elijah's words, her jaw tense and lips pursed in rage. "We didn't break up because I lost someone. We broke up because you changed and you didn't help me to carry on. I couldn't possibly move to Bulgaria with someone that didn't treat me with respect and affection anymore" he said, much louder than he had intended.

The lift dinged and opened in the second floor, introducing a concerned intern that took Katerina out of her absorption. "Dr. Petrova! I finally found you! There's a patient suffering from severe phototoxicity that requires your assistance."

"Next time page me, you incompetent" she sourly answered by wrinkling her nose. "Have a nice life, Elijah" and with that farewell, visibly hurt by the truth, he understood that was the last time he would ever see Katerina again. Was freedom supposed to feel that painful?

* * *

When Elijah took a cabbie to get to the airport, the first thing he thought about was that flying to the US could be a great opportunity to start from scratch. Perhaps that was all he needed. For that he ended up throwing his SIM card to the nearest bin and promised he would get a new number, maybe even a few months of spiritual recovery before, during and after Nik and Caroline's wedding.

He was woken up by the soft voice of the same air hostess that had given him a mini liquor bottle of J&B for free an hour before. _First class world, _he thought. "Mr. Mikaelson, we are about to land. Could you please turn your music player off, please?" she asked, her glossy lips smiling in an exotic red explosion.

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

Half an hour later he was already awaiting for Niklaus in arrivals. He couldn't find him anywhere, though, and went extremely anxious when after forty minutes he found himself alone looking for any familiar face. That's when he heard someone call his name and forgot all regret about having gotten rid of his mobile network.

"Brother!" He saw Rebekah approach as fast as she could, avoiding travelers and groups of friends getting together. Her gorgeous blonde hair bounced as she run, wavy hair locks and hairspray scent spreading all through the air. Elijah took her in his arms and spun her around, accidentally pulling out the only earphone he had on and consequently forgetting about Muse's unquestionable talent.

"I'm sorry we are late" Rebekah's boyfriend, Stefan, apologized. Ever since they started dating Elijah had been profoundly glad about his unconditional care for her. He thought him a blessing, especially now that the rest of his siblings had found their respective entertainments and couldn't always be there for her. "We got stuck on a traffic jam."

"It's okay, man" he nodded and shook his hand, still embracing his sobbing little sister. Rarely had he seen her weeping for she hated to be thought weak.

"I've missed you" she stammered, more like an oath rather than a confession. "I wish you'd been in the funeral."

"I wish I had, too." He honestly meant that when he said it, but the night the disaster happened St Thomas' Hospital had been filled up with the survivors of a horrible shooting and a colossal chain of car crashes. He had been working nonstop, attending different patients in the ambulance and helping nurses and doctors – definitely too busy to check his missing calls. "I'm here now. I'll be able to mourn him if you take me to the cemetery."

Rebekah nodded and dried her tears, rejecting Stefan's hand with a snatch in an unsuccessful attempt to cup her face. "Baby, my makeup is ruined! I don't want you to see me like this." Stefan grinned and hugged her, too, knowing Rebekah would play hard to get but eventually give up. As soon as she buried her head in his chest, she let a deep sigh out that made Elijah smile.

"Klaus and Caroline were trying their wedding cake today, that's why we came to pick you up instead" he informed him.

"Also, mother is eager to see you. She just didn't want to be exposed to the stress of airports."

Elijah felt an enormous flurry of relief. He could say he was grateful that his family still loved him despite the disappointment he had become. "May I ask where I'm staying?"

"Has no one told you anything?" Rebekah tutted, annoyed. "Finn and Sage are staying at mother's. They thought the kids would help her improve. Kol offered to take you in his apartment. Are you okay with that?"

Elijah frowned. He would have never accepted such an absurd proposal a few years ago. His brother had always been a stray bullet, a libertine, an irresponsible and mindless young man. He loved him, of course, but that didn't mean he approved his complicated nature. They had told him he had settled down, that he was graduating in Sports Cience while doing some good business. Apparently, he now owned a bar in the city centre; although he occasionally supervised it, it was one of the most popular establishments and therefore the most exclusive at night.

"No, he just bought me the ticket and commanded me to take this everlasting flight. What about you?"

"Well, now you know. Stefan asked me to help _Caroline_ with the wedding, and since he gets along so well with Nik and it's football season, we chose them" Rebekah smiled bitterly at Stefan's arched eyebrows. Elijah was completely up to date about her feelings towards her future sister-in-law. The lovebirds casually bumped into each other in a Chicago bar and haven't split up ever since. It was thanks to Rebekah that Niklaus met Caroline, one of Stefan's closest friends, though she never meant to pair them up. His sister had always been jealous about her, much to his boyfriend's misfortune. On the one hand, she always thought she'd be the first one to get married. On the other one, no matter how many times Stefan would prove her wrong, Rebekah would always believe they were something more than confidants. "Guess what! As soon as the wedding is over" she continued, intertwining her fingers with both of his boys and making her way down to the parking lot. "Stefan and I are going on a trip to his home town in Virginia to take care of his brother Damon and his girlfriend Lexi's house! They are crossing the country in their old Camaro, just like in the movies! We thought about doing something similar but, when they come back, we'll just fly to Poland instead!"

* * *

Kol smiled bragging arrogance ashe walked off of the dirty and untidy dorm. It was a sunny and warm day in New Orleans and even though he had drunk an entire drum can of beer, he felt freshly recovered from his inebriation. Shagging the most popular and stubborn chick of the party had been fun, but annoying that roguish girl by calling her Jessica, Martha and Erika –everything but her real name– had been even better.

"Kol Mikaelson!" she yelled, following him as she covered her body with see-through sheets. "I rescind your invitation in this fraternity!"

"Whatever, darling" he answered, his smirk growing wider and eyes wrinkling.

"_Whatever?_ So you don't even care?" she gasped, clumsily trying to reach him in her bare feet, people staring at her nudeness and craziness in the street.

"It's not as if I couldn't step inside anymore because you say so."

"You fucked me, didn't even know my name, and you can't even fulfill my only demand?"

"Listen, Melanie-" Kol said, turning on his feet to find a pissed thin woman becoming enraged within seconds.

"It's _Meredith_! My name is Meredith Sulez!"

Close enough.

"_Meredith,_ I'm not a respectable man. I've got this reputation everyone knows about. My modus operandi consists on screwing and then leaving. That's what I'm doing. Leaving. Always a pleasure!"

She stood there in silence with her mouth open, but Kol was not interested in her inner pain. Instead of apologizing or comforting her, he left her with her shame.

"You are such a jerk" Jeremy frowned after watching the embarrassing scene Kol's harshness had provoked. "I sometimes wonder why I'm friend of yours."

"Because standing next to me makes you cooler. Seriously though, how could you spend your inheritance in a DeLorean? You are such a freak. No Kol and you'd be fucked up and lonely in this society" they both chuckled. That was the way they showed affection one another, shaking their hands and rapping their heads and being mean to each other.

"Well, for me the DeLorean is just a plus" When Kol twirled around, he got silenced by the charm of a small beauty. There was a woman standing there beside him, a thin little thing of radiant jade eyes, long straight chocolate brown hair, perfect shaped rosy lips and never-ending eyelids. She was wearing denim frayed shorts and a white shirt without sleeves, pink havaianas, a golden pendant and coconut earrings, her hair combed to her left side. "It's clearly more discreet than the Batmobile."

"How are you doing, Honoria?" Jeremy chuckled, greeting her with two kisses, such an European posh habit. He then realized her accent was not American, though it was perfectly elaborated to sound as so.

"Awesome, dude. Are you going to this graduation party Bonnie is throwing? She's your sister's friend, I don't think she'll care if you go keep me some company."

The Gilbert family had moved to New Orleans with aunt Jenna immediately after their parent's death. Kol met Jeremy a few years ago in college and spent a considerable time with him after class. They'd play _Call of Duty_, go skateboarding and try some weed in secret alleys they'd been finding throughout their friendship. Elena was Jeremy's brother. One could think she was a calm and lovely person for a yoga instructor, but he knew her enough to tell he didn't like her pathetic, overprotective and contradictory behaviour. She had never had him in high steem and thought he was the reason Jeremy was so corrupted and lost in drugs. Alas, if she only knew his brother was more than sober and was hooking up with Anna now!

"Yeah! Jeremy and I will join!" Kol replied, living up her day with one of his most charming smiles. "I'll bring some drinks."

As arrogant as Kol could be, Honoria smirked and let out a polite but harsh "and who are you?"

"Oh, I'm just someone you'll learn to love, I assure you, darling" he said, gently grabbing her hand and kissing her knuckles like a true gentleman. "Kol Mikaelson" he introduced himself, showing his perfect, straight and snow-white set of teeth when he felt her shaking at his touch.

"Forget about him, he's just an idiot I hang out with" Jeremy interrupted, elbowing his ribs.

Honoria let her hand go and looked away to Jeremy, her only and best support. Kol enjoyed watching her reaction; he couldn't help but bite his lip and see her blush. No one was used to that type of greeting, not even the Europeans, he bet.

"I don't think I'll go, considering what happened last time."

"Right, the cops came to your house" Kol remembered. Regardless of the assault, that party was epic to him. The only girlfriend he had ever had, Mary Porter, had tried to make him jealous by making out with every guy she bumped into. By the end of the night Kol was so drunk and uninterested she tried to put some more makeup on to cover her swollen lips and look move onto her new victim. It looked as though she had just had an unsuccessful plastic surgery. The mere thought made him laugh. How could he even touched her one-time?

"Besides," Jeremy continued. "this week is being overwhelming. I still haven't gotten all my grades and my aunt won't stop modelling and asking for my advice." Honoria grinned at his explanation and patiently let him finish for she didn't understand that last pretext. "She's seeing someone."

"Oh, right."

After a considerable gap of awkward silence, she finally babbled and placed a rebellious hair lock behind her ear, something Kol, deep inside, had always wanted to do himself. "Okay, I'll tell someone else then."

Kol didn't approve the direction the conversation was taking. Snorting loudly and exasperated, he made obscene gestures behind the girl alluding to her possible sexual potential. Jeremy, thowing him a significant look, shook his head and politetly smiled to her. Did he really have no chance? Well, that his friend wouldn't help him captivate her was sadly a reality.

"Thank you, though" the silly boy finally excused.

"I'm giving you the address, in case you change your mind-" she began, rummaging through her purse. "Let me see... Where the hell is my pen?"

"It's okay, I've already been to Bonnie's. I know where she lives."

"You have?" she asked, blinking twice and spinning around her feet only to find an apparently distracted Kol smirking.

"They dated once" he told her with fake naturality, winking as he approached and she held her breath.

"You don't say!" she finally laughed, quite histerically and still staring at Kol. "That was unexpected. You really are a good match now that I consider it."

_God, she's so stunning it blows my mind_, Kol thought, inspecting her up and down. _Not only hot, but astonishing in every way. She appears to be as freak as Jeremy but that's kinda cute in her. I could definitely stand any _Back to the Future, Star Wars _or superhero movie for her. Will she have any hidden talent? I swear to God I'll shoot myself if she listens to bullshit music and watches crappy realities. One Rebekah is enough._

"So- would you think it over, Jer?" Kol said, obviously sowing some discord between them and forcing him to accept. He really wanted to go with him. Jeremy Gilbert was the best associate he had ever had, after all. He would need some of his support to win her.

"I leave you guys clearing your mind. I should be somewhere else right now."

"It was nice to meet you, sweetheart" Kol waved as she got away. He stood there staring at her silhouette, sighing at Jeremy's abashed face. "What?"

"You will never change, will you?"

But Kol didn't answer, he continued smirking with this annoying false innocence. "She's got quite an old-fashioned name, doesn't she?"

"Your name is old-fashioned, too."

"That's because my parents wanted to honour their ancestors by calling us after them. They founded New Orleans, remember? We just came back to finish their work."

It was true. The Mikaelson lineage compiled years of history. From the invasion of Northumbria to the discover the New World. Kol was born in Great Britain like the rest of his siblings but Finn and Elijah, his father's most beloved sons. He grew up in a lovely large house in York when they eventually decided to fly back to America. Finn met his wife in that very flight, Elijah was given a place in Oxford University, Niklaus began to study Political Science, Rebekah became an event organizer and he... well, he entered college, too. His grades were not high enough to apply for Harvard University like Niklaus had previously done but at least he was graduating and making a generous amount of money now.

"When Nik wins the elections and deposes that twat, Marcel Gerard, from mayoralty we'll get our domain back."

"Yes, you'll be a bit richer. But you'll always have an uglier name than Honoria Fell's. At least hers sounds armonic" Jeremy teased, smirking and getting a soft punch in the arm as a response.

In a serious exchange of looks, they both exploded in a sea of laughter. _The dickhead is right_, Kol thought, _Honoria's name is far prettier than mine._

* * *

Elijah took place between his mother and Sage in the large oak table he and Katerina had shared in repeated occasions on Christmas. He found himself sad at the amount time he had lost with his family since he decided to focus so much in medicine, a dream now ruined and broken in thousands of pieces.

Five years had gone by since their parents divorced. Elijah was relieved and glad he was never seeing that wretch anymore. His mother got over him easily, but she would never get over her youngest son's death. Destiny had wanted to snatch the cheerful Henrik from her rickety hands last March. The driver that ran over him, identified as Mason Lockwood, had committed an imprudence by crossing the road when the traffic light was red. His driving licence had been withdrawn and although his penalty was reasonable, it was still useless. A handful of banknotes wouldn't bring his little boy back. Esther, in desperate need of a new love, would never smile as she used to.

That night she was especially content and especially silent at Elijah's presence. Not long after Henrik's loss, the grief, the alcohol and the insomnia led him to crash the ambulance April Young, daughter of the Minister of Culture, was in.

"I'm delighted to see you all together again. This would only happen each morning. I would have a relaxing cup of coffee for breakfast and you would go to school. Then you flied the coop and left me, Henrik, Ayana and" she sighed, chuckling at the memory. "and Tyler, the dog, alone" she deliberately explained, staring at her children and respective lovers. "Even though your independence broke my heart more than once, it was still worth it, wasn't it? Thanks to your maturity, we are a bigger family today."

Sage smiled gratefully to her allusion, Caroline cuddled up next to Niklaus and Stefan nodded, approving each word Esther had just said. The redhead was struggling with a prawn, trying to peel it and give his youngest son something to eat. The blonde was paying admirable attention to the conversation, trying to please the hostess with her sweetest grins. The captivating boy, meanwhile, was fondly holding Rebekah's hand under the table.

"I'm sure we'll soon be even a _bigger_ family, mother" Nik claimed, taking a table napkin with remarkable manners to his mouth. For a moment, everyone considered Caroline's condition and threw inquisitive looks at her belly. Noticing their impertinence, he quickly shook his head. "Elijah has told me he may be staying for a while. Perhaps Katerina wants to join us."

"That'd be great!" Kol cheered, making all the attendees roll their eyes. His whim for her had always been so obvious. "We only get to see her once in a year or so, after all."

Elijah brushed the knife against the plate stronger than intended. The impact provoked a screechy and deafening sound that consequently made all grimace. "I'm afraid that won't be possible" he finally responded at the puzzled stares. "Katerina and I broke up after... Henrik's death" he explained, gulping deeply. It was the first time he had said both out loud.

"What?" Esther asked, unbelieving. Her hand was now resting in her chest. She was moved and confused at the latest news.

"Were you not going to tell us?" Niklaus chanted, obviously annoyed because of the second secret his dearest brother had kept from him.

"I was-" he tried to defend, leaning on the table to cover his face with his hands. "I was going to tell you, eventually."

Caroline and her little navy blue eyes gave him a sympathetic look. That Elijah was his favourite sibling was nothing new. They shared a same philosophy and, although Caroline was much younger and more energetic and had more current hobbies, they had always gotten along extremely well and covered topics such as the world crisis or her studies. Caroline's time at university had run out as fast as Kol's. She was getting a master's degree in Psychology, though, not a bachelor's degree. She was now a strong and independent woman –engaged but still independent– and could now enter the labour market. Elijah was proud of her. Her field was more than interesting and she was a very capable girl. The match was simply flawless.

"Guys, you don't need to remind me I've reached the bottom. As well as unemployed, I'm now single."

"What happened?" Kol asked more serious, pretending to look nonchalant and uninterested. Quite an odd contradiction, showing he didn't care but still asking, right? Not really. When it came to family he would always care about them, even if he didn't say it.

"She was never there when I needed her."

"Did that _whore_ not support you with the trial?"

"Niklaus, please" Finn complained, tossing his head towards his offspring. Nik shrugged and stared at the children apologetically. Galen was smiling at his swearword while Margaret was placidly sleeping in her stroller.

"Don't call her that. And no, she didn't. Not even with Henrik." He was still not able to absorb it. Katerina had never had a hint of maternal instinct, but she had always been so nice to his brother it was hard to believe she never mourned him.

"I'm so so sorry, son. I don't wish you anything else but someone that loves you" Esther frowned, catching everyone's attention. Her eyes were now glassy and lost in the void for different reasons. She had never held Katerina dear. She thought she was impulsive, coarse and a bad influence. In happier circumstances, she would have rejoiced in their breakup. But seeing Elijah mercilessly fall down the rocky abysm of unrequited love kept her restless.

Predicting tears, Rebekah chose to quickly drop the subject.

"Is it true that you are staying for a while?"

Elijah smiled at her sister and received the new breeze with better humour. He hated speaking about his stormy last few months.

"Actually, I am. I'd love to help Nik both in his ascent to the town hall and on his way to the altar. The elections and the wedding almost coincide and I want to collaborate" he informed, spreading some duck pâté on a little toast. "Besides, this summer appears to be quite interesting to Kol. He's just graduated."

"Don't rush, brother. I still need to get some grades first."

"We all assume you've passed. I could delight you with my pleasant company and prevent you from waking up naked on the main square as a result of an overdose."

Thanks to that remark even Niklaus, always so grumpy and quiet, chuckled.

"As much as your intentions are good, I wouldn't want you to pump my stomach. Thank you."

Narrowing his eyes, Kol understood he had just hit a nerve. He was only trying to be funny when Elijah's jaw dropped at his comment and turned into a bitter smirk. Any sign of joy had been erased from his brother's face. He was now waiting for Ayana to come and move away the dinner service.

"That's not what I do. I usually don't work in the Emergency ward but in the ambulance. I even drive it sometimes. I- I don't know why I'm making this clear, I don't even work anymore."

"I'm sure you'd safe the idiot's life if you did, Elijah" Rebekah reasoned, giving Kol a deathly stare only to smile pleasantly immediately right after to the rest of the attendees.

"Anyway," Stefan said, trying to turn the atmosphere into a more relaxing one as the maid brought the desert. "I hope y'all like blueberry jam 'cause that's the cheesecake's secret ingredient today. Now, I'm not a big fan of confectionery but Caroline convinced me and got me into baking today so... we sincerely hope you like the result."

"Caroline... of course" Rebekah grumbled, apparently absent-minded.

"Relax, Rebekah" the bolde replied, arching her eyebrows as she took a sip of red wine. "I'm marrying your brother not your boyfriend."

"I don't know what upsets me the most" she smirked, enjoying Caroline's angry face. She was so ugly whenever she got mad, she felt much better now.

"I'm tired of your bullshit already."

"Enough!" Niklaus interrupted, making Sage bounce startled at his sharp and severe yell.

"Are they gonna fight in mud? Honestly, that would be awesome" Kol laughed, rubbing his hands and eating seafood like popcorns.

* * *

After trying Stefan's cheesecake –surprisingly delicious and creamy– Elijah found himself lying in Kol's dirty couch. Although it was a new piece of design furniture, the white fabric was shabby and full of cigarette burns. They had both gone to his apartment after kissing the family goodbye and were now watching a gore movie.

None of them was complaining for the moment. Elijah had witnessed so many blood before, he was pretty used to seeing gross scenes like those. Kol simply enjoyed horror movies and scenes like cutting bodies in halves with chainsaws and stuff. He had basically seen it all.

"Shut up" he misspronounced, his index finger covering his lips.

"I haven't said anything" Elijah frowned, raising his hands in surprise.

"You are pondering. That's annoying. You are not supposed to ponder when you watch _Saw III_. God, you are not supposed to ponder when you watch _any_ _Saw _movie. All the possible notions in your mind must be disturbing right now."

"You and your home cinema are both disturbing, buddy."

"What can I say! I enjoy watching _1000 Ways to Die_, _American Psycho_ and weird Hitchcock movies in this beauty. I call that bloody good taste."

"_Bloody_ is the key" Elijah chuckled as Kol shushed him and crawled to the telly.

"Oh, oh! This trap, Elijah, is the best one you'll ever see. It's called the Shotgun Collar" Kol said, smiling at the upcoming dialogue he once learnt by heart because of reasons. "_I want to play a game. The rules of the game are simple. The consequences for breaking them are great: death. You're being tested. Your_ will_ is being tested, the will to keep someone alive. Can you do that? Can you follow the rules and grant someone the gift of life? The device you are wearing is linked to my heart rate monitor. The second that heart rate monitor flatines or you move out of range, an explosion will go off in that collar. Your life and my life will end simultaneously."_

"You are disfusting" he finally replied, standing up and grabbing his coat.

"What? Wait! Where are you going?" Kol demanded, folding his brawny arms in a disapproving position.

"A walk!"

"It's 2AM!" Kol reflected. But Elijah had already crossed the door and shut it. Being back home and coexisting with his brother was turning out to be more complicated than he thought. He should definitely find a better hobbie than pleasing him.

* * *

**A/N: So, did you guys like it? Thanks in advance for all the possible favs and follows. Please, don't hesitate and don't be shy. Reviews really encourage writers to do their job and carry on. Leave me some of your lovely words and I promise I'll read them, even answer them sometimes! **

**Also, meet me on tumblr if you please. My username is **_**elijahs-suit**_**! xx**


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